As mothers in the family, you will always find that a lot of responsibilities are placed upon us. In fact, you find that it is the mothers and females in marriages and relationships who hold the relationship together. And they do this through a lot of hard work and sweating.
Sometimes, you find that the mothers can get so overwhelmed that they lose their nerve. And it is during this time that a lot of bad things can happen. But sometimes, it is just bad parenting or ignorance that can lead to parents doing some of the things they do to and for their kids. Here is a short list of some of the most common mistakes that you will likely find most mothers do.
1. Overpraising or using a lot of positive reinforcement
Phrases like ‘good boy/girl’ and ‘well done’ can also be powerful tools, especially when abused by the parents. Don’t get it wrong, praising your child for doing something good is always, in its own way, kind of like a reward to the child for the good behavior. But studies have found that the kids who receive a lot of positive reinforcement are the ones who end up growing to be less generous compared to the ones that get less of it.
2. Getting angry and shouting
In some instances, a parent may just snap and end up yelling at her kids even for minor offenses. Situations might have you in very stressful conditions and you feel like you just want to throw something. Then suddenly your kid/s does something wrong and the gorilla in you gets loose. And you yell at your kids almost to the point of hitting them. In such instances, your kids will live in fear of you. And will only be doing your bidding to please you and out of fear and not because they want to.
This is also another common trait that most mothers bear. Mothers can sometimes be very protective of their children. This, in turn, prevents the kids from making any mistakes throughout their childhood. You may think that this is okay, but in the real sense, you have failed as a parent to teach your child about the good and bad things in life. Without making mistakes, kids don’t learn, and you will have blocked that. It can end up affecting them a great deal in the future.
4. Punishing your kids
Children always need to be taught that they are always accountable for their actions. This, however, shouldn’t give you the right to punish your kids through corporal punishment or any other potentially harmful types of punishments to your kids. You find that kids that go through such ordeals end up being violent and resentful and even aggressive towards other people.
5. Discounting children’s feelings
Using phrases like ‘boys don’t cry’ or ‘only babies cry’ some of the ways in which you can discount your child’s feelings. You may think of these phrases as a harmless talk, but your kids may not be able to tell the difference. Doing this can end up putting your child in a state of emotional neglect.
6. Reassuring children
Parents always want to be the hero of the day when it comes to protecting their kids. And that is why most parents reassure their kids. Maybe they broke their favorite toy and the parent reassures them that everything will be alright. That it will be fixed. What parents fail to realize is that children also need to learn about virtues such as patience. Don’t rush in to try and fix a problem immediately if you feel it’s not life-threatening. Like in the case of a toy.
7. Being a tiger parent
A tiger parent is the pushy kind of parent. The parents who put a lot of focus on academics and achievements that their kids meet. These parents end up pushing and forcing their kids to do things simply because they, the parents, want is so. This parenting method is never effective. In fact, kids usually end up being the opposite of the parent’s intentions.