Here are a few tips I picked up (A Muppets Guide to Dating?) during a recent viewing of 1981’s The Great Muppet Caper. If you need a refresher, this is the movie where a) Fozzie and Kermit are twins b) they are trying to catch a jewel thief in order to keep their jobs at the newspaper and c) we find out if Kermit wears boxers or briefs. (I’ll let you figure that one out on your own.)
1. To ease your nerves, why not turn an intimate first date into a party? Invite anyone who could smush into your hotel room to come along, why not? (There’s also the added bonus of having a band on top of your transportation.)
2. Not that it’s any surprise to me, but Kermit already one-ups my boyfriend from junior year in high school in which he brings his date a corsage. How sweet is that? (That boyfriend of mine “forgot” a corsage for two dances in a row… I should have called Kermit instead.)
3. If you are going to continue to pretend you are someone else living at a fake address on this aforementioned first date, be sure to “steal” a house where the incredibly boring couple living there won’t even blink an eye when you are giving a tour. (The boring couple may even provide restaurant recommendations if you are lucky.)
4. When you decide to take your date to a place where “roast beef costs the same as an Oldsmobile” be sure to have a backup plan (or talented & quick-thinking friends) when you realize you won’t be able to pay for dinner.
5. Before you find out the true identity of your date, there should always be a big dance number. And afterwards, a “pep talk” from Peter Falk.
Is it time for you to rewatch The Great Muppet Caper and pick up other life lessons? I think it is!