KILL REFURB MARRY: Disney Princesses Oh My

Kill Refurb Marry

Well, hello.

Today is the moment of truth. I am actually killing a princess.

I know, I know what you are saying:  “Estelle! You couldn’t kill a Muppet but you can kill a PRINCESS? How dare you! You coldhearted b-!” Whew. Let’s calm down. It’s just a game, and frankly, the princesses don’t pay me any attention so what do they care what I — the lowly commoner a.k.a blogger — think?

They don’t care at all. But hopefully you do.

I did do a little research before I jumped into this and the whole “who is a princess” debate is pretty complicated. Who has actually had a coronation? Who are the ladies in waiting? Do female protagonists equal princess? (Not always.) Did you know starring in a film that wasn’t a theatrical release doesn’t count? (Sorry, Melody. No one liked your movie anyway.)

If you want to know the all the facts, check out this page.

No more stalling from me — time to get on with it!

kill.

Jasmine. I didn’t come to this decision lightly. It’s not that I dislike Jasmine. I like her just fine. Her sense of adventure, her desire to make her own decisions in life. All very commendable, but when you really think about her — we don’t know much more than what’s on the surface. Aladdin may be about Aladdin but it’s about two people connected by one common bond: they don’t want to be forced to live their life a certain way because of where they come from.

I’m killing Jasmine because I want her to mean more to me. It’s not uncommon for the female protagonist in these stories to dream of a life far beyond what she has already. I want to know what makes her tick, what makes her different than everyone else in the princess lineup.

refurb.

Belle. She is probably the princess I relate to the most, out of all of them. The bookworm, the one who feels out of place (see? we all feel this way to some extent), close to her family, determined! But something about the post-movie Belle really upsets me. First of all, she falls in love with the prince and he remains in Beast Mode in everything we see. The other movies, the theme parks. SERIOUSLY. Give the girl a break. She already tamed that guy; let him be human!

And then let’s talk about Disney’s “makeover” of Belle. The extra long bangs in the front, the extra bounce to her hair. Anyone who reads a lot KNOWS they do not want hair in their face. It’s annoying! It’s frustrating and we all just want to find all the bobby pins and get it out of our eyes. Is it possible she got more gorgeous with time? That her new life in the castle supplied her with a fabulous hairdresser? Totally. But old Belle – the girl she is inside – would not stand for the “come hither” looks on a coffee cup or a scarf and she sure as hell would not look that killer with a Beast by her side.

So let’s tone down the look and give the girl the MAN she deserves. Thank you.

marry.

Tiana. She is a girl after my own heart. Willing to sacrifice everything for her dream of opening a restaurant. Close with her mother. Independent. Self-sufficient. She’s even got a cute frog. She’s also the sweetest thing EVER when you meet her in Disney World. Like, the super sweetest. She has a little sass but she’s also funny and fun and when the opportunity presents itself, she’s game for an adventure. SHE KNOWS SHE NEEDS IT. She’s wary of love; it’s not a goal to her. It’s something that happens gradually.

That being said — this category made for a tough choice. I’m happy that the last few princesses introduced on screen have been so realistic to me that I could have really chose any one of them but Tiana seems to fly under the radar for some reason. Why. Why. Why.) And I’m sending her all the love today!

Was I too kind? Do you think I got it wrong? Let me know which princesses you would Kill Refurb Marry!

Be sure to check out my superb co-host’s picks @ Mouse on the Mind!

Posted by

A book publicist who loves writing about Disney and books, and sometimes Disney books.

5 thoughts on “KILL REFURB MARRY: Disney Princesses Oh My

  1. Um, yes. Tiana was my second choice for marrying. I’m so glad someone else snapped her up. I think you probably choose better than I did. She would make a wonderful spouse 🙂

  2. I love your choices! Tiana is a very close second for my marry. I adore her and her movie and she definitely does not get enough love! I refurbed Jasmine for a lot of the reasons that you killed her – though the princess I killed I also killed for similar reasons (we just don’t know much about her and what she’s really like).

  3. Jasmine is totally the worst. Totally. She just sits around looking bored and not doing much. Way to inspire me, Disney!

    For me, Tiana is a total winner, but she flies under my radar because I didn’t love the movie. I don’t love the time period or the music. It just doesn’t intrigue me like it does some people.

  4. I think I’m going to play along this week!! So much fun.
    You’re killing Jasmine!?! I mean, I guess I understand your reasons but I don’t know how I truly feel about that. I love Aladdin but I guess Jasmine does have a lot of room to grow.
    Holy cow, how will I choose who to kill? This is impossible.

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