Mappet Monday: The Internet’s Most Dangerous Article

Hi lo! I have successfully pulled off the internet’s greatest burgurlerry ever seen and have finally stolen the world-famous This Happy Place Blog. For my first move as officially being the Internet’s Most Dangerous Muppet Fan, I have decided to take over Estelle’s favorite segment: Mappet Mondays, and I’m sure by this intro you can guess who I’ll be spotlighting today.

That’s right folks! I will be shining the spotlight on the World’s Most Dangerous Frog and Number One Criminal, fresh off of his success of Disney hit movie, Muppets Most Wanted — out on DVD/Blu-ray tomorrow! After a top-notch rousing opening number, we are introduced to Constantine in a Siberian maximum security gulag. Constantine, somehow sneaking a bomb into prison (or did he build it there? That’s the fourth escape everyone tries!), manages to blow up his cell door, beat up the security guards, make a reference to the Shawshank Redemption, and then destroy the rest of the gulag creating the biggest breakout in gulag history. (He is obviously a multi-tasker.)

These moves leap Constantine to the Number One Most Wanted Criminal. A spot well deserved! Throughout the film, Constantine can’t help but throw his new title in his sidekick’s face (or “Number Two”). What makes Constantine special and unique is that he is the World’s first criminal frog, and he can tap dance! A double threat! He’s also a really dangerous pyromaniac. He and Crazy Harry should get together sometime.

Constantine really breaks out as a great character in his first feature-length film, Muppets Most Wanted (it’s a good thing they were holding auditions for evil frogs at Disney) and he has just so much to offer within the movie. His introduction was great, like Walter’s before him, despite them being completely different characters. Those writers sure do know how to create great new Muppets that fit quickly into the story.

Although Constantine was intended just for Muppets Most Wanted, I can easily see him making an appearance somewhere down the road for the Muppets; he’s so wonderfully hilarious. As long as they didn’t stretch out the whole Kermit doppelganger thing too much, just a few Constantine cameos would be fine by me.

Constantine and Ricky Gervais Muppets Most Wanted

That’s it for my spotlight on my favorite evil Russian frog. Now that I finished, I guess I can untie Estelle from this chair and give her the website back.

Good night folks! We’ll see you next time on THPB! Yaaay!

Psst. A note from Estelle now that I’m free… don’t forget to buy your copy of Muppets Most Wanted on Tuesday, August 12.  Amazon is currently not carrying any Disney DVDs so be sure to stop by Target, Barnes & Noble, or wherever else you buy your DVDs to show your support for the Muppets and this movie.

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