Worth His While: Discovering HERCULES

Hercules on BlurayI’m not sure how it happened.

A complete oversight.

I somehow married James without watching Hercules with him. This was a rite of passage with so many friends, and now, three years of marriage later, we finally crossed the threshold into Ancient Greece, Air Hercs, and (my personal favorite) Michael Bolton ballads.

I’m happy to report we weren’t alone. When Melissa of Mouse on the Mind and I were chatting a few weeks ago, I discovered the apple of her eye (Dan of At Disney Again) hadn’t experienced this underrated delight either and so this post was born. We came up with questions, we watched the movie, and here we are… sharing our beloved’s answers.

Full disclosure: No husbands or boyfriends were threatened in any way when  asked to watch Hercules for the very first time in their adult lives. Their opinions are most certainly their own. (Pinkie swear.)


First up, James’ mini-review of Hercules:

Ode to a Grecian Hunk – Courage is strength, strength courage; that is all ye know on Earth, and all ye need to know. (Thanks, Keats!)

Favorite Hades line?

Oh jeez. I don’t remember any of them. Maybe that says something.

What mythical creature would Zeus make from the clouds to be your companion?

My corporal Patronus always takes the form of a stag, but I have a special affinity for hippogriffs and thestrals, and my friend acquired a dragon and a three-headed dog from strangers in a bar, so….wait, what intellectual property am I supposed to be a fan of? Oh hell, I loved Pegasus, he was a cool little guy. I’d want an animal that could fly but could also kick some serious butt with me, so I’d want an Eagle Badger: it has the body and wings of an eagle with the head and temperament of a honey badger. Oh, and it would need to be about the size of a large adult horse to support me, so, good luck with that.

In the Disney yearbook, what would Phil’s superlative be?

“Most Likely To Lose All His Money At The Races” or “Best Use of Danny DeVito’s Voice In A Disney Movie”

What about Megara’s?

Either “Heartbreaker” or “Gold Digger” or “Most Likely To Marry A Hunky Hero God”

Which song is better: Go The Distance or Won’t Say I’m In Love?

In all seriousness, there’s no competition here. “Go The Distance” all the way.

Funniest clumsy Hercules moment?

The first one, where he knocks down the entire marketplace. It makes quite a statement about his klutziness, and I don’t really recall any other klutzy moments which could top (or topple) that one.

Why is this movie so underrated?

Well, that’s a tough question. I wouldn’t say I thoroughly enjoyed this one. It certainly has some super strong points: James Woods as Hades is brilliant, Danny DeVito is Danny DeVito as Danny DeVito playing Phil, but who cares because Danny DeVito? Also, it is great to see a Disney movie without a “Disney Princess” character; Meg has some complexity and is certainly no damsel in distress, but even after she becomes a “good” character she still wasn’t very likable in my opinion. This movie is really all about Woods and DeVito and “Go The Distance”. Everything else is middling and somewhat mediocre (although I wish I remembered more Greek mythology so I could skewer Disney on what I imagine is a very liberal use of mythology).

Who is more handsome: Michael Bolton or Hercules?

Combine them both and you get….Paul O’Neill? I don’t know. Michael Bolton has a handsome singing voice, which Hercules does not, but Hercules has god-like strength while Michael Bolton probably couldn’t fight his way out of a paper bag. So, my final answer is Paul O’Neill.

Which character is most like your partner (i.e., Estelle)?

I’m happy to say she is not like Meg. Honestly, she is probably most like Hercules, because she has inner strength and power that she is often unaware of but can find when times get tough. She is also an immense klutz who probably could knock down an entire marketplace made of stone if left unattended. I can neither confirm nor deny that she glows a subtle golden hue on occasion.

Would you like to see HERCULES in a show, attraction or restaurant?

Honestly…..eh. Hercules himself, no. He’s a rather uninspiring character, which is pretty sad considering he’s a fallen god who works his way back into God status through grit and determination. Hades, though. Hades is awesome. MOAR HADES PLEEZ

What part of the movie would you most like to get tattooed (or see tattooed on someone)?

I could see myself, during a moment of low self-esteem and/or near-total loss of brain function, getting a Henna tattoo of the “God” symbol Hercules wore as a baby. However, I would never get an actual permanent ink tattoo of anything from this movie. Or any other Disney movie. Nothing personal. Classic EPCOT Center logo – sure, sign me up! But I just don’t have the required emotional attachment to any movie, Disney or otherwise, to justify having it permanently blasted into my skin.

Big thanks to James for answering these very serious, difficult questions + watching Hercules with me!

We finally had a movie night! Hooray!

Hear what Dan from At Disney Again thought over at Mouse on the Mind today!

And — most importantly — don’t forget to pick up your copy of Hercules on Bluray today!

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